WHERE DO I BEGIN...

I know its been awhile, but LL has prompted me to start blogging again. In case you didn't know, LL was recently photographed with the rotting teeth of a meth addict, right after an oral rinse of baked beans and _______ (insert nasty noun here).

Well, 2 weeks later (and a few dramatic court hearings followed by even more dramatic excuses..)LL has tweeted a pic of herself with her new teeth. Her tweet says: "Thanks Dr. Dorfman for the Zoom...." Here are few problems I have with LL, including her tweeted pic of new Chiclets:

1.) Kitty cat, Zoom is whitening. What you got are called Veneers. Jesus. We're not all as high as you are, stop trying to kid, girl.

2.) Girl, as soon as your saw your teef in the press, you obvi freaked out (or depending on how lethargic you were to notice, your publicist and mom-ager freaked out) and went to take care of that mess pronto! But....girl why when there are all these drunkened and drugged pics of you looking a hot mess, and you can't help yourself out (on the insides)? I mean, I guess you have priorities!

3.) I love how in the tweeted pic of her new teefs, you can clearly see the mound of cig butts in the ashtray, as well as a glass some sort of alcohol (that is not apple juice, puhlease). She has already introduced her new teefus to their new best friends, alchohol and tobacco. Way to break in that new set!


I think she should just move to Montana, wear a perma Ralph Lauren Collection apache blanket coat, and get her shit right. Who's with me?

I'm Going Green

And I don't mean in the enviro sense. Although I do secretly sometimes wish to be beep-bopping around in a Prius, especially on days when I spend $70+ dollars to fill up my gas-guzzling SUV. ANYHOO...I digress. What I mean by going green is that I'm digging all of the fashions out there right now that are, wait for it....GREEN. Here are a few that just tickle my pickle.

Courtesy: Mulberry
This Mulberry Heritage Bayswater Satchel pictured on Nicole Richie (above) from the AW 2011 Collection is just splendid. While I keep my luggage-sized handbags near and dear to my heart, I am really loving this scaled-down bag.

Courtesy: Revolve Clothing

These Current/Elliott jeans might make my stems look like a pair of crisp green beans, but I'm willing to take that risk. They're actually en route to my house right. now. Can't wait! PS LOVE LOVE LOVE shopping at Revolve Clothing. Free shipping, no tax (if outside of CA), free returns/exchanges, friendly owners. LOVE.

Courtesy: www.netaporter.com

Ummmm...this dress is so wickedly hot that my eyes (among other things) are burning. There are no words for how divine this creation by Gucci is. I'm currently swirling and twirling into a deep depression that I can't acheive my full emerald goddess-ness potential in this sweeping vision unless I come up with a cool $3,900, and fast. I'll bet Demi Moore shows up somewhere in this dress and steals my thunder. What a b*tch.

Happy.

I am mad at Monday (today). But the only thing to make me stop losing my temper every 11 seconds are these! I know these are from Spring, but I just can't quit them.

Summer Sickles

My body came under attack last week from a nasty virus, infecting my sinuses and lungs. Otherwise known as summer sickles. Being sick in the summer is no bueno, so I was very bummed to be bed ridden for a whole week. Being sick, restricted to my sick bed, and nodding in and out of consciousness resulted in my removal from civilization for 1 week.
I did, however learn a few things while my sinuses were fighting for their life:

1.) Sudafed does NOT make shower soothers anymore. WHY?! I bet people got addicted to the menthol sniffs.

2.) TV programming in the middle of the day during the week is targeted to 60 something women who have more than 1 cat.

3.) Burning your sinus cavities is possible. When the Neti Pot directions say lukewarm, trust it.

4.) Attending a "Gypsy" or "Traveler" wedding in the UK is something that just got added to my Bucket List! I hope my invite is in the mail...

5.) Being on a diet of soup, tea, and Nyquil is THE summer swimsuit diet. I'm emailing the Patent Office tomorrow morning, and calling a Z list celebrity (I'd call their agent, but let's be honest, they don't have one) to see if they will be my spokesperson. Will they be offended if I pay them in Campbell's Soup To Go's and Sudafed?

I'm glad to be feeling better. On another note, I'm getting excited for Fall fashion! I love love love love Fall, so plenty of Fall Fashun posts to come!

LIVE SHOPPING!

Well, here's one more thing to distract me. Live shopping on Net-a-Porter.com! It's a live map of the world, showing who's putting what in their "shopping bag". This is almost as fulfilling as shopping myself. Sometimes after watching this, I forget that no, I actually did not just get a pair of Valentino booties, and a Notte gown...that was some chick in Austria who I was shopping vicariously through. I've made a few observations after spending numerous hours (um, yes) watching other people shop on here:

1.) J Crew sells on Net-a-porter. Who knew?!
2.) People in Dubai love the bejewled garments.
3.) Not so much activity in Afghanistan...
4.) New York + UK= RICK OWENS, WOOLFORD, TEMPERLEY. THAT'S IT.
5.) CONFIRMED: The Japanese wear tiny sizes.
6.) China=ghost town.

check, check, check it out! (They ARE having a good sale, after all...)
http://www.net-a-porter.com/live

Meow-nsieur Chat Blanc!

Marie Antoinette and Louis would be proud of their country man Béla. Mostly because of his period costume and face make up.

Voila!

Bela: L'Homme Chat from Paul Trillo on Vimeo.

Driftwood Diva

A shot from Angelina Jolie's Louis Vuitton ad campaign was released today. She's in Cambodia, sitting on a piece of driftwood (what they might call a "boat"), with no make up on (I'm giving the side eye to that one), and wearing her VERY OWN Louis Vuitton Alto Carryall (I see you, girl). This is the same campaign from LV that features Sean Connery,Bono and his wifey. All of these folks are on that conscious tip...it's all about core values, guys!

I like Angelina, I really do. I mean, she's gorgeous, she gives $456 million dollars a year to charity, serves as an amb-ASS-ador (sorry, I had to) for the U.N., and gets to look at Brad Pitt all the time...
I'm sure she's just trying to make all of us look bad.

On another note, this reminds me of the time I went into the Louis Vuitton store in Paris (not the massive one that is now on the Champs Elysees, the smaller one on Avenue Montaigne...b/c I know you care). It was the Soldes time of year (Sale season). Every designer hole in the wall puts gobs of stuff on sale at this time of year. So I naturally sashayed into Louis Vuitton asking where the Soldes was. Well, Cruella Deville gave me le meanest glare ever and proclaimed in her most Frenchy English, "Mademoiselle, there are no sales at Lew Veetawn"! I know, cool story.


pic: WWD

It's the last day before the end of the world...What are you wearing today?!?!

Since tomorrow is the end of the world, today is the last day to get dressed, so MAKE IT COUNT! Wear ALL your jewelry today! Furs, who cares (it's 75 degrees out), so what , live ya life!

Once the world ends we will have to makeshift all of our clothes (those of us who are left). Girl pictured above is werking her Mad Max, end of the world lewk by snatching up carcases of rats and skinning HER OWN cow to make her jacket. It's all about survival.

If I'm left on this Earf after Jesus comes tomorrow, I will be live blogging and excited for the post rapture fashion trends. MAD MAX FASHION WILL RETURN!

He HAZ t-shirt

I am very excited to learn that someone I know actually owns some feline fashion. Bonus points for the sparkly blue eyes.

I'm tiny, too!

It seems like everyone and their mother is having a kid these days. In honor of the tiny humans, I wanted to share this short clip. Enjoy!

Today's Highlight

Today's highlight is...I got a new coffee maker!!! YAY for caffeine!

I'm totally amped for blogging.

Cat-tee

I can haz tee shirt?

For $48 you sure can!

Joyrich Cat Tee, www.RevolveClothing.com

90210h no

Brenda Walsh called, and she wants her look back.

Stone washed denim vest + Patchwork floral dress = I am mad at this 90s look**!!!

Am I crazy, or is ANYONE ready for this to be back?!

(**Not mad at her oxfords, though...as I have a pair. But the rest of this out fit can take a hike)

Follow Us!

We know there are plenty of lovers of Kittehs, Glitter, and Fashion out there. So follow us on our blog or on Bloglovin'!

If you follow us, we'll send you a basket of kitties and some Fall 2011 Dries Van Noten.

Fanks!

Hooker?

(I don't even know her)! I digress, I digress...
Remember those friendship bracelets you labored away at during your summers at camp? Those were not cool as cool as these are. Miansai by Michael Saiger loves making fun bracelets ( it's all about the details)! These fun colors with the gold hook make a great anchor for your "story" on your wrist:

A few of my favorite things...

This season Oprah says Au Revoir to the Oprah show, and all of her favorite things. I've taken the liberty of posting some of my "favorite things" so millions of worldwide Oprah fans will not be left hanging, asking "what is cool and hip?" They can find out here.

Here are all things fun, fashion & feline that make the Favorite Things list for Spring 2011. Well, all things FASHION anyway. Maybe I'll post some fun and feline favorites another time.

Mikoh Biarritz Solid Cover Up This backless, semi-sheer breezy number is fabulous for luxury lounging by the pool. Or if ye dare, add a belt and wear it for a memorable night on the town.

DVF Leaves Pants Oh so...currant! purplepants, purplepants, purplepants a la Gaga!

Pendleton for Opening Ceremony Knit Poncho Sweater I am obsessed, no, obsessed and blessed with all of the Navajo-inspired fashions right now. Like this number by Pendleton for OC - it's pretty cool. Pair this with some (baggy-ish) cutoff denim shorts, sky-high platform sandals, and a cross-body bag for a sassier look.

Giuseppe Zanotti Platform T Strap This shoe is pretty yummy. And if this were in a nude or blush colored leather? Done and DONE! If spending $595 on a platform shoe is not for you, Jeffrey Campbell and Dolce Vita have some great platform options this season.

Karen Walker Pilgrim sunglasses Honey, what's this, what's happening, what's going on here? Could it be the perfect oversized, flat top, black, wayfarerISH (emphasize -ISH) gradient-lens pair of sunglasses? CHECK! These are overstated yet understated, cool and collected, and well...HUGE. Loving them!!

Givenchy Antigona bag The Givenchy Nightingale bag has been usurped on my fashion wish list by the Antigona. While this one is refined and streamlined, it maintains a casual nature that makes it the perfect everyday handbag. It can be worn two ways - my fave function of a handbag. For a ladylike look, use the tiny handles and wear mid-forearm. Or, for a more utilitarian approach, use the long shoulder strap. I'm not sure I used either of those "U" words correctly, but they sound really smart, so...fingers crossed! But seriously, this bag is pretty on point. It's available in multiple colors, as pictured on various celebs. There's even a stingray-embossed calfskin 2-tone option (also pictured below). What was my fellow blogger saying earlier about borrowing 40 cents of every dollar we spend? Yes, please! I kid, I kid. I will very likely only be carrying this bag in my dreams.

January Jones, Rachel Zoe, & Nicole Richie all love the Antigona! And Khloe Kardashian has been spotted carrying a Leopard one -MEOW!

werk.

My dear friend Andre and I (we met twice, we are super close) have something in common. We both lug our garbage to our far away place where garbage is centrally collected. Tell me about it, Andre!

Andre was giving his 2 penny pieces about making our world greener through our actions. Andre states, "You have to wake up and be conscious of everything, the way you dispose of things. I do make trips to the Dumpster. And I am proud of that because it’s far from my house. But I make a special effort to go to the Dumpster and put the cardboard with the cardboard, and plastic with the plastics."

Werk, Andre. I feel you. My garbage can is tucked away in the corner of my garage, which is on the bottom level of my casa. My la cocina where my kitchen garbage lives, is located on the SECOND floor of the Maison Foreman/Curran.This means I have to trapse down 2 flights of stairs to empty out the trash. And let's not even mention recycling! I collect bottles at the kitchen sink, and go all the way down to dispose of them in their proper receptacle.

I'm being serious. This is such a big production/annoyance.
Moral of this story: Andre and I have a bit of a journey to get rid of our garbage, but we push through and do what's right for the earth. Side note: Andre and I both love a fur blanket. Is that good for the environment?

Halp!

Ok, so word on the stroll is that we, America, are in debt. We are borrowing $.41 of every one dollar we spend. We still tout ourselves as the greatest and most powerful country in the world. What I can deduce from all of these facts, findings, and statements is that America needs some Goldigging 101 courses to get us out of this mess. I mean, that's how we can get out of debt! Why hasn't anyone proposed this?! Someone needs to start up a PAC on this stat! I'm writing to my senator right after this post!

Just some suggestions for America (girl, I'm trying to help you):

1.) Audition for the Real Housewives on Bravo. YOU WILL GET A CHECK.
2.) Old-fashioned gold digging. We could just marry China. UNLIMITED ACCESS TO FUNDS
(AND FACTORIES :/)
3.) Get knocked up by a wealthier country (China). Bonus: multi racial children are way good looking.(hello child modeling contract). YOU WILL GET A CHECK.
4.) Sell Florida . Get royalty rights to Miami though. The rest of the state is trailer parks, rednecks, and alligators. AND...bottle up all of the humidity in jars and sell it to arctic people (Canadians) as "vacation in a jar". Boom, way to be an entrepreneaur, America. Besides, 98% of child abductions happen in Florida...?? ROYALTY CHECKZ, LUMP SUM PAYMENT, BIZNESS MONIES.


Deficeit now a surplus. Write your senator! No one else seems to have any better ideas....

Sorry, but it's true.

Yes I come from one of the most expensive private girls schools in the state, but I'm actually really cool. Please don't be intimidated by me. People always go 'private schools create better citizens'. But I would say they create better QUALITY citizens. Studies have shown that students from private schools are more likely to get into uni, and end up making alot more money; While wife beaters and rapist are nearly all public school educated. Sorry, no offense, but its true. Some of you come from povered families, but that's not your fault. Some of you I know don't even have foxtail (?).

Phillip's Pink

Pink is my least favorite color. If I ever have a child and "it" is a girl, I'm going to have to put an addendum into the shower invitation. NO PINK!

Only exception... Phillip Lim. The color makes the texture of this weave pop. And the buttons!? I can't. His buttons are always le best.

romper room

Rompers have had it rough. Way back when, it's what ladyfolk wore as swimsuits (zexy)! Then, Bridget Bardot made them chic and to die for. Then comes the 1970's (ehhhh). Rollerskates, polyester and terrycloth turned the romper into a cheap trick, forced to turn to rollerink girls for affection. They used and abused her, turning her cut from fem-fab to athletic and Three's Company.

The romper has gone to rehab, quit drinking, drugging, smoking, and hanging out at the Skate Palace...She has resurfaced as glam-fab and sophisticated! Behold, the WRAP ROMPER. 3/4 sleeves, bold print, and a to die for neckline.

Welcome back!